Your taking me out tonight. Yup you read that right. YOU have to take ME out tonight. It's the biggest party night of the year and I had plans but I don't feel like it. You see I was supposed to take this girl out for dinner and drinks but I I'm sooooooooooooo fucking sick of taking girls out. Why is it women always claim they want equality with men but never want to pick up the check? By the way, when in comes to basketball you always want a smaller ball. I think that's bullshit. And I'm not cheap by any means, I am just fed up. I'm tired of making all the plans. I'm tired of paying for dinner and drinks. I'm tired of paying for the cab, but I'm not tired of going out. This time it will be different though. You are going to make the plans for tonight. I am not going to pick you up (you don't have to pick me up, we can meet somewhere) And you are going to pay for MY drinks goddamnit. Now you may be asking yourself "Why should I pay for some fucking loser when I could get someone else to spoil me?" Simple. I am fucking awesome. (Almost) everyone thinks I fuckin rule. I'm really funny. I'm really sarcastic. I can hold an intelligent conversation. I can get along with almost any type of person (except dead people, we don't have anything in common), and I can fit in at almost any kind of bar. Physically I'm fucking great too(now with improved modesty!) I have never ever had a problem getting women. I just have a problem getting women who want to pitch in. So hears how I hope things will go down tonight. You say "I want too go to this place, this place and this place" and I'll say "that's cool". I don't give a shit where. You could take me to Le Bec Fin or we could go to McGlinchy's. Doesn't matter to me. But I'm not paying for shit
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