290 reasons to date me! - 29

11.19.07
1. We can get group discounts when we go places. I never knew that TWO people constituted a GROUP.
2. The taste of your lips is the best thing on this planet.
3. I promise to pay all the time, or some of the time, or none of the time¡Kwhatever you like.
4. I promise not to use you to keep my feet warm.
5. I'll push you on the swings and play on the playground with you.
6. I always put the cap back on the toothpaste.
7. I'll stash little notes for you where you'll least expect them.
8. We'll make history together.
9. I¡¦ll open doors for you. (literally and figuratively)
10. Sleeping alone just sucks.... period!
11. When you're around me I've got the sex drive of a 16 year old boy. So sex will be awkward, sloppy and last 30 seconds...great!
12. I can tell you anything.
13. I wish I could give you all of my firsts.
14. All I can offer you is all of my lasts.
15. You're safe with me, emotionally and physically.
16. I'll wait for you....
17. I'll lick the envelope and the stamps for you.
18. Did I mention I¡¦m a GREAT cook?
19. I'll let you sneak a taste when I'm cooking and lick the bowl when I bake.
20. I know CPR.
21. I won't make you wear lame sweaters when we go to family Christmas parties.
22. You turn me on!
23. You love my dorkiness.
24. When you are trying to keep count, I will try and mess you up. So you're obnoxious? Perfect!
25. I love Christmas lights.
26. I suck at strip poker.
27. I'll hold your coffee/drink/food for you when you're driving.
28. Just looking at you will turn me on.
29. I promise not to burn the house down while you're gone.
30. I wash my own car and I¡¦ll wash yours too!
31. I'll make you pancakes.
32. I won't bite unless you want me to.
33. I love waking up, having sex, then falling back asleep, all without saying a word.
34. I'll circle your birthday on my calendar. And probably forget it anyway...
35. I'll cover you up and kiss your forehead when you fall asleep watching TV.
36. I'll carve our initials in a tree with a heart around it.
37. I won't swear around your family.
38. I've never been Punk'd.
39. I¡¦m not afraid of the future.
40. I come with no warranties but I do have guarantees.
41. I'll grant you three wishes.
42. I'll buy you a lap dance.
43. I didn't vote for either George Bush.
44. I will take you furniture shopping.
45. I always stop to pet dogs outside of grocery stores.
46. I like pick-nicks.
47. I'm slippery when wet.
48. Most of my furniture matches.
49. I¡¦ll leave work early to come and change your flat tire.
50. I'll make you laugh.
51. I've never been in one of Paris Hilton¡¦s movies.
52. I'll never under cook the eggs.
53. We can go on long walks.
54. I can make a very good potato casserole.
55. I¡¦ll tease you ONLY when you¡¦re in a good mood.
56. I¡¦ll always carry in to groceries for your mom.
57. I own fuzzy handcuffs.
58. I recycle.
59. I do know how many licks it takes to get to the center of a tootsie roll tootsie pop.
60. I¡¦m disease free. YAY!
61. I'll take care of you when you're sick.
62. I'll make fun of you.
63. If you scratch my back I will do ANYTHING for you.
64. I haven't been in the witness protection program.
65. I like porn. Great.
66. I can't stand soap operas but I do watch daytime trash TV.
67. I don't care if you leave the seat down. I have pretty good aim. Well DUH I'm going to leave the seat down, what kind of girl do you think I am? How about you take the 30 seconds to raise/lower it instead of relying on your so-called "good aim", jackass!
68. I pump my own gas and will pump yours too.
69. I¡¦ll always drop you off at the door before I go and park.
70. I've got cookies.
71. I don't chew tobacco.
72. I take a shower every day.
73. I like it when you play with my hair.
74. I'll let you beat me at pool (actually I¡¦m horrible, but I¡¦m pretending I¡¦m not).
75. I want you to, at least occasionally, go out without me.
76. I eat crackers in bed.
77. I think it¡¦s sexy when you sweat.
78. I like stand shopping.
79. I don't care what music we listen to in the car.
80. I won¡¦t make you eat some crazy foreign food you don¡¦t want to, but I¡¦ll try anything you ask me to at least once.
81. When you wash the dishes it turns me on.
82. I love to make-out with you without it leading anywhere (unless you take it there).
83. My heart will jump every time you walk through the door.
84. I'll save everything you ever give me.
85. I won't ever forget your birthday, and remind you when mine is coming.
86. You're impressed with my list!
87. I don¡¦t buy scratch off tickets; it¡¦s the big jackpot or nothing.
88. I can change my own oil and yours too!
89. I'll want you to think I¡¦m just as cool as I think you are.
90. I think pizza and a movie on the couch is the ideal date.
91. I don't like thinking like everyone else.
92. I don't crazily redecorate on a whim.
93. I've never been investigated by the cops.
94. No drama...well I try.
95. I want to meet your friends.
96. I will always take your side.
97. I can give you piggy-back rides.
98. I am a great kisser.
99. I¡¦m a giver.
100. I¡¦m a saver. So you can be the spender!
101. I have never gotten a speeding ticket. OK maybe just one¡K
102. My weird habits you'll find adorable.
103. You'll sleep better when I'm next to you.
104. I don¡¦t care when you rave about how good a movie stars looks.
105. I am extremely polite to waiters and always tip VERY well.
106. I'll never waste your love.
107. You won't have to work hard to make me laugh.
108. I will never fight with you in front of your friends, but I will make fun of you.
109. I want to figure out how to make sex amazing for you.
110. Ketchup, ranch dressing, or chocolate sauce makes everything better.
111. I won't ever let you leave without your goodbye kiss.
112. I'll give you a key to my apartment.
113. I'd rather get lost and have an adventure then stop for directions. Great.
114. I've got way too much unused closet space.
115. We can watch your movies; chances are I¡¦ll love them.
116. I¡¦m romantic and imaginative.
117. I once ate cat food.
118. I LOVE fast food.
119. I hate cleaning, but I¡¦ll want to impress you so I will.
120. I'll always have a smile for you.
121. My mom and I get along great.
122. I can ride a bike.
123. My family is just as fucked up as yours.
124. I do believe in a ¡§higher power¡¨.
125. I like horror movies, but don¡¦t worry I¡¦ll keep you safe.
126. I love to play in the rain, or the snow.
127. I will never expect the impossible.
128. I have volunteered at the soup kitchen.
129. I can be ready in 10 minutes or less.
130. I will always wrestle with you, even though you will never ever, EVER win.
131. I don¡¦t jay walk.
132. I look adorable in sunglasses.
133. I¡¦m 6¡¦1¡¨.
134. I'm not a virgin.
135. If I¡¦m dating you then I think you¡¦re fucking hot as hell.
136. I will treat you with respect.
137. I like to work out, but it will NEVER interfere with ¡§us time¡¨.
138. I don¡¦t expect you to make a lot of noise in bed. But, it¡¦s OK if you feel the needƒº.
139. I have 2 savings accounts: one for you and one for the future.
140. I guarantee your mom will LOVE me.
141. I don¡¦t eat or drink at movies b/c I don¡¦t wanna have to pee in the middle.
142. I am white. Whew!
143. I was the fifth grade spelling bee champ.
144. I'll try not to get jealous, but I probably will.
145. I will not drunk dial you¡Kum¡Kya¡KI probably will
146. I will squash bugs for you.
147. I have been stabbed in the back too many times to intentionally hurt a friend.
148. I can count to a million (please don¡¦t ask me to). Genius!
149. I will never steal from organized crime.
150. When you cook dinner I don¡¦t care if its hot pockets.
151. I think it's hot when you masturbate.
152. I separate colors when doing laundry.
153. I'm worth every minute you spend with me.
154. Whipped cream = yum!
155. I've never auditioned for reality television.
156. I love thunderstorms.
157. I like it when you talk to your friends about me in bed.
158. My morning breakfasts will change your life (think homemade donuts, bacon, pancakes, and my fried egg sandwiches will be the best you¡¦ve ever had).
159. I'm very comfy to curl up with.
160. I WANT you to get jealous.
161. I have a 6-pack!
162. I have never fucked your best friend, and never will.
163. I¡¦ll never lie to you b/c I¡¦m bad at it and you¡¦ll know anyway.
164. I drink beer, but that¡¦s ok b/c I¡¦m a dude.
165. I do not subscribe to any porn magazines.
166. You will smile when my name comes up on caller ID.
167. I don¡¦t snore!
168. I'll let you drive every time if you want, or I'll drive every time, whichever you prefer.
169. I buy clothes that fit, not ones that are skin tight and 2 sizes two small.
170. I have only been pulled over once. OK maybe twice¡K
171. Opening a beer for me will get you everywhere.
172. I have never dated someone b/c I felt sorry for them.
173. I have manners.
174. I like the outdoors.
175. I am not scared to take a chance.
176. I will always prefer Pepsi.
177. I never win raffles. LOSER!
178. I know how to keep a secret.
179. I will overlook your occasional idiot moments.
180. I LOVE surveys.
181. I know which one is the salad fork.
182. I HATE racism! (See #142...hmmmm....)
183. I'm a Sagittarius.
184. My medical records are up to date.
185. Quickies at lunchtime are just as good as going all night.
186. I will make you laugh.
187. I will perpetually be cold, giving you plenty of reasons to keep me warm.
188. When you order too much food at a restaurant I will always finish it for you and give you all the credit.
189. I don't cheat.
190. I won't wake you up unless it¡¦s REALLY important.
191. I can take care of myself and don¡¦t NEED you, but I WANT you.
192. I know the difference between they're, their, and there.
193. You want me as badly as I want you.
194. I eat extremely fast. But I NEVER start until everyone is served.
195. I won't quit until you're 100% satisfied.
196. I make to do lists, and then do maybe 1 thing off them.
197. You've read this far, are you really going to stop now? That's not a REASON! You cheated! You said you' don't cheat (#189). Now you're a liar too and you said you'd never lie (#163)!
198. I will never do something b/c someone else wants me to.
199. I don¡¦t have any piercings.
200. I have a career.
201. I'll run to the store to buy you tampons without complaining.
202. I have goals. But, the most important one is making sure you wake up with a smile on your face EVERYDAY.
203. I'm easy to talk to.
204. I smile and laugh easily.
205. When I'm sad, a hug and a kiss, and someone telling me it¡¦s going to be OK means the world to me.
206. I shave! ;-)
207. You will always come first.
208. I will let you burp in front of me.
209. I love having sex and can go all night long, but don't have to get it every night to be happy.
210. If you cuddle with me for 15-20 minutes at night and 15-20 minutes the next morning I promise I won't sleep on you all night long.
211. I eat what I want, when I want. This means no crazy diets.
212. I tend to not be a very angry person.
213. I know the difference between LISTENING and HEARING.
214. If you play your cards right¡Kyou will never be single again.
215. I am amazingly sarcastic.
216. I'm willing to try new things.
217. I take instructions well.
218. I can talk intelligently about most topics.
219. I have confidence in ¡§us¡¨.
220. I look amazingly cute in a baseball hat!
221. I can sort of play Guitar Hero, but you¡¦ll probably still kick my ass.
222. I¡¦ll pay for your drinks.
223. I will forever be a Twins fan!
224. I usually sleep in the buff.
225. I don¡¦t mind if you ask me what I¡¦m thinking about.
226. I have LOTS of pillows on my bed. Huh?
227. When you¡¦re sick I'll make you soup and curl up in bed watching movies with you.
228. I'll buy you your favorite candy bar every time I stop at the gas station or grocery store. I have NOTHING to hide. What?
229. I love Martin reruns.
230. And Fresh Prince reruns.
231. I don¡¦t procrastinate¡KOK maybe a little (see I told you I couldn¡¦t lie to you).
232. I'll stay up talking on the phone or online until 6 in the morning on a possibility that I might get to see you.
233. I¡¦m full of passion.
234. I am down to Earth and very open minded.
235. For the most part I can sing on key.
236. I'd rather be happy and barely getting by, than rich and unhappy.
237. I like the way you look in my sweats and a beater.
238. But nothing is as sexy as a beater and boxers.
239. Or just boxers.
240. Or nothing at all!
241. I don't like Starbucks, but I do like gas station coffee.
242. I'll buy you little presents just because.
243. Most of the things I like to eat had parents.
244. I don't have a twin.
245. If you care about it, it becomes important to me as well.
246. Jake says I'm awesome. Who?
247. I'll brag about you (in and out of bed) to all my friends.
248. I usually smell really good, or so I¡¦m told.
249. I know what¡¦s appropriate in public.
250. I can read music.
251. I have my own place.
252. I'll tell you you're gorgeous every day.
253. I CAN make you happy.
254. Every so often if we wake up in the right mood, I'll call off work to stay at home in bed with you.
255. If you live far away I'll visit you.
256. I've never been on Ricky Lake, Jerry Springer, Sally Jesse, Montel, Maury, or any other sleazy talk shows.
257. I can drive a tractor.
258. When I don¡¦t drink beers, I like shots of whiskey or tequila.
259. I will teach you to drive a manual.
260. I can forgive and forget almost anything.
261. I can love you.
262. Everybody wants my chicken. That just sounds gross!
263. I like to dress nice, mostly to impress you.
264. I will NEVER baby talk you.
265. I love music, all music, any music.
266. I read obsessively.
267. I'll text you just to say I hope you have a good day.
268. I love the Redwings.
269. I give my friends 110% all the time every time.
270. I love airplanes, and road trips.
271. I will do everything in my power to make you happy.
272. I don¡¦t care what kind of shoes you wear.
273. I can play Texas hold ¡¥em competitively.
274. For our one year anniversary, I will make you a corny scrap book celebrating us! Can't wait for THAT waste of paper!
275. I will want to take a bunch of pictures of you, and us.
276. I will never use a cheesy pick-up line on you; unless you want me to (I do have a lot of ¡¥em to use).
277. I have never had plastic surgery.
278. Family is important to me (both mine and yours)!
279. I'm OCCASIONALLY 420 friendly!
280. I can admit when I¡¦m wrong.
281. I have green eyes.
282. I don't like Asian food, but if you're with me it'll be the best food on Earth.
283. My personality is molded by the people that surround me. So basically you're a total biter who's never had an original thought in all his life. You probably copied and pasted these from other people's postings...
284. I can accept my flaws and mistakes, and I can accept yours too. That is if you have any.
285. I can surprise you with chocolate-covered strawberries at any time...so BEWARE! That is unless you're allergic; then I'll have to back to my bag of tricks!
286. I've never met a jar of pickles that I can't open.
287. When no one is around I sing in the shower.
288. I talk to myself ALOT, but that's cool b/c then you'll always know what's going on in my head.
289. I LOVE SURPRISES!
290. I'm a dog lover; I can tolerate cats also. BUT...if you have a cat, then I'm definitely a cat person!

Only 290 reasons? Lame. I would only date someone with at LEAST 291 reasons....